Just a question

Can't death wait?

My little fingers

Discard

I wanted it so badly that i forgot why i wanted it.

There was no need to fake the need when the need to feel the need was mistook for what i thought was the need.
Leave it because the want is dead and hence the need must die too. Your need never needed you to be his need. So there need not be any want which is not your need.
DISCARD.

Should i sleep or should i read?
Should i work or should i eat?
Should i stand or should i run?
Should i use a blunt knife or a shot gun?

Should i kill or should i get killed?
Should i think or should i paint on the shoe that i have?
Should i ask or just let the truth die?
Should there be tears or let the fake laughs cry?

I think not that i think this way
to even think about it everyday!

Bubblegum theory

One day a man was passing a classroom. He was super depressed in his life. He needed some entertainment to get away from the shallow life of his. So he decided to enter this classroom.

Seeing him enter the students remained stunned for few seconds. The next few minutes passed by discussing the number of students in the class. For that too, the depressed man appointed few students to sit(actually stand) and learn numbers in the form of their friends!

While the selected victims remained busy, the super sad and depressed man moved a lot from one place to another... and during this course of action his eyes fell on the word 'art' in one of his papers. This brought him to think about the movement his body made that led him to this word!
During this deep thinking session, the students were getting impatient with his unpredictability. So to shut the chatter boxes, he thought lets give them something that will steal away their sleep and peace of mind for the next few minutes(actually days). The word 'art' was running in his head.... and the movement of his body..... Oh my GOD! movement...body....art....art...move....arrr....mmuuuu......movement ....art....Oh my God! ART MOVEMENT! EUREKA! Lets give them some work on these two words.... and just for fun!!! (exactly in Russell Peters way) ask them to chew off their brains!

By the way ...... Rudolf the red nose rain deer ...had a very shiny nose...and if you ever saw it...pack your bags and ..let us GOOOOOO

PS: to all my fellow Symbians of 2006 batch...you know what i am talking about! ehh..

A new home, a new job

It was in the air! Floating like the magic carpet, weightless and merry
It brushed along the souls it came across, spreading the fragrance of joy
Dancing to the tunes of the breeze...it was nearing her
She anxiously waited on her toes, looking out for her turn
Sitting on the waves of the wind, it slowly reached her side
She closed her eyes to get ready for the eternal feeling
Her body felt a hundred heart beats together
Eyes were now shut tight like a jammed door
Hands were damp like she just dipped them in rosewater
It would happen now and she would be happy forever
There were a hundred hearts in her body
Cool winds slapped her hard as ever
It is over. she thought
She opened her eyes to thank it but found herself staring at faces she didn't recognize
A smile ran across their face as she brushed along their side
Sweet smell touched every spot that she stepped upon

Her eyes searched for it but in vain
How could it disappear without meeting her? she cried
Why not her? she questioned
Minutes of distress passed
She wiped her tears and decided to leave

But something stopped her, each time she took few steps
Not just one but any direction she chose
She was locked! she panicked
It never came and blessed her with happiness
Only passed her close enough to lock her in a cage, she moaned
Tears fell like the monsoon rains
And black clouds crowded her mind
Thunders of hatred made her blood gush like a wild river in her body

All this chaos stopped her from realizing that the locked cage was 'it'
Now it was she who brought smiles on drowned faces

She did not just get brushed by it but also resided in 'it',
The Bubble of Joy.

That one minute...

Her eyes widened. The seat lost all the comfort it provided. Suddenly all the nerves in her body left her alone. She wanted to run to a cliff and scream her guts out, but her voice betrayed her too. The people around her started to spin. Her hands wanted to hold something solid, but her brain refused the command. Her body felt the rush of blood.

She wanted to remember all those times which made her happy. The new school she joined, the new friends she made, graduation party, the day she met Anand, the day he proposed, the day they got married. All the events flashed like lighting bolts in her head. The picture of Anand smiling everytime she blew air in his ears captured her mind. She had come 25 years hence, seen her two boys grow and make a living for themselves. The day her sons graduated, the tears that rolled down her eyes. Anger, joy, sadness, anxiety, fear, depression all flooded her heart. She wanted to break free. And she was going to.

That tiny pain in her chest lingered around. Ignorance is the culprit, she thought. If only she could turn back time. Just a minute ago she wanted to go watch a movie. But now she wanted to visit all possible places that she had not. She wanted to eat all that she had missed out on. She wanted to meet all those who she dreamed about atleast once. But somehow all seemed like cookies in a locked jar. Just a minute ago she was going to be done with this appointment and quickly grab a seat in the theatre. But she was exposed to the fact that it is her luck that she is still alive. The cancer had grown way too far till the liver.

She touched Anand’s hand who could not stop the tears rolling down his face. They both stared at each other and said a million things. With all consciousness lost, she walked upto the window behind. She turned back to find Anand and the Doctor stare at her back. She lifted her hand and found herself staring at the watch. It was 3.46 pm, 14^th October, 2007.

The countdown had begun. She stared outside the window and noticed that a kid was just about to get run over by a car but was saved in time. She wished if someone could come and give her a hand and pull her back out of the whirlpool that she was stuck in.

Slowly she started to feel the window pane, her feet felt the ground and her brain registered what she saw. She looked at her watch and looked back at her husband. She wished they would stop staring.

She took a step forward and said, “we are late for the show.”

PS: A special dedication to my Shaila pachchi...miss you a lot!

The enlightening trip to mulshi

There are few things you do everyday and without them your day is just not a day! everyday you brush your teeth, bathe, pee, SHIT! (Yes the last one is in BOLD)
I never imagined how this one mundane activity of a human being could possibly affect the mind ....soooooo much! But my poor darkened understanding received light, thanks to the study trip to mulshi.

This trip (as we were told) was a 'study' trip which God only knows why it was held in Mulshi. I mean i know the place is damn beautiful and all( which truly it is), but still why?
Anyway...getting back, yes! So my class of 60 (which usually is 30 on the normal lecture days) had to be transported to this place in a 54 seater with material such as printer(yes yes printer in a village called mulshi), speaker (probably to announce in the village that we are here we are here!), drawing boards (mind you for every student), a black board (aahan black board it is) with 5 to 6 dozen of tinted sheets and mount board...oooh oohh...and pots too..like 60 of them! All this in a 54 seater local travelling bus along with 60 students, 2 profs and their luggage. Woah! An event in itself. Who needs to go to mulshi? Lets stuff ourselves in the bus like cotton and party man!!!

After 2 and a half hours of the painful journey(literally), getting out of the bus felt like paradise!
The food served there was amazing for all four days!( woah i miss it like mad) Thankfully we were blessed with proper maharashtrian food. Our resting room was as big as my kitchen in which 9 of us had to sleep with no fan and a 10watt bulb. At first we contemplated whether the luggage should sleep in or us?? But everything fell in place when 2 went to the profs room and other 2 left the next day!

There were around 8 'cottages' surrounding a lawn, a kitchen and 3 bathrooms and toilets. And all this on a far off mountain with a river flowing below.
Food was the highlight of the day amidst warli painting, chitrakathi painting and village documentation that we were asked to do.

The first day began with 2 loos clogging under the pressure of 60 human beings. The following morning, the last and only hope to free our stomachs from the pressure gave in. The tolerable ratio was 1:60 ...but after this tragic incident, none:60! woah! time to take tension, but that too was dangerous! We diverted our minds and wandered to the riverside, the shack...the lawn and conveniently ignored the topic of food. By this time few students had lost hope and returned back home.

Luckily by evening we could free ourselves from the underlying pressure. every one came out with huge victory smiles and relief!

The sun down was the best! The only activity left was to lie down on the grass and stare at the gazillion stars flaunting their beauty and glory.

Consciously or unconsciously every one counted the hours back to the time when we were suppose to depart. I remember, when everybody saw the bus arriving , they all ran towards it like a cattle herd. The whole trip was filled with tensions,frustrations, fun times at the shack, the river, the lawn and all.

By the end of trip, a lot of students had left earlier. So the journey back home was a little better than the former one.(Thank the Lord!) All in all this trip was full on masala maarke kinds!

PS: The trip was a lot more eventful and fun than it sounds in this piece of writing!

My mind and I

My mind is blank, I dont know where all my thoughts ran
Words are floating around me but my mind refuses their entry
It wants some space to think for itself, be free from all the issues that need to be dealt.

But what happens to I when my mind says 'goodbye'
The I remains nothing but just a body with no act,
regretting the complaints and realizing what I lack.

'Need you back' says I to my mind
But mind does not turn to look behind
I wait and wait for some miracle to stop by
Hoping that the mind will come back and tell me not to cry!
And help I to gain my confidence back,
feel like a new person and get my life on the right track.

'Come back my mind' says I again
I stand here while my mind stands there, you know, its a narrow lane.
Minutes of silence envelopes I and mind
Finally mind cries out, " Be back when PEACE is mine."

From there to this...

"Pass me the tape! Arey give me the cutter!What are you doing??" That is exactly what i should have been yelling at this point of time...

Since the past two weeks I worked and worked so that i could have this one chance of proving myself worth something. My college festival started today ie. the 1st of feb 2008. Being a part of the 2nd day of the fest was the best thing. I got to do things what i like, be with people and enjoy the fest. The most amazing part of a college fest is the making of it. Th amount of effort the students put in is mind blowing...

I am one of them. I was lucky to be a part of 'the most amazing' side of the fest ie. the days of struggle to get it all together. I was eagerly waiting for 'THE' days to begin...until last night the 31st of january when i visited a doctor and was told about a disease that i had never ever heard of and that i was suffering from it! Crazy!! Like just 24 hours ago i know zilch about this disease and the next minute i know i have it..

I am supposed to be perfectly fine in about two weeks though. Wow! That makes it better...i miss my college fest, have to go home and stay on bed for a week, i miss college, i miss on an important submission and blah blah! What more can i ask for!
Atleast i get to go home right!!
Oh lord in 24 hours i have travelled from there to this!!!!!
With all the work pressure i kept praying if i could just go home...and BANG!!! My wish comes true.

So off i shall be to my beloved home
To sleep, to eat but not to roam
To cuddle in my mum's arms
And not care when goes off...my alarm
With an unwell body but healthy soul
I shall now go and play the sweetest daughter's role!