What do you really want??

It is just a part of the human nature to be insatiable. No one can be happy with what they have. There are so many things in life that u really want but no one knows what they actually need!

In my case, sometimes(actually most of the time) i want something and when i get it .....I DONT WANT IT!! When its not mine, i keep wishing for it and once i have a chance to lay my hands on it....that thing just loses importance in my life. I wonder why that happens!
I think i still dont know myself so much to analyze what i am really made for...

I always wanted to live out and study. Living in a hostel, doing things your own way(it only sounds fascinating...the actual truth remains in one's perception), away from parents, completely new set of friends( who become your lifeline later) and blah blah! When i was in bombay.....never in my wildest dream did i imagine myself to come so far. It all seemed like a dream!
Living here for almost 2 years now, i can proudly say i have been there done that!(and i know there is still lots more in my kitty!) There were so many times that i thought that i was better off in bombay. Then phases passed when i couldn't stand the hostel and the 'n' number of girls hovering around you stealing your personal space which you can freely obtain at home. There were times when i hated bombay for how crowded it is( forgetting the fact that i lived there for 18 years!) and wanted to shift permanently to pune.....(even got down to convince my dad to shift here) But thats all history.

My major problem was that, i kept running from problems in both the cities and accordingly shifted my preferences...i know i know 'the grass is always greener on the other side'
But today i can feel the change. It was a completely different me last year..She was a weak and extremely sentimental person who was afraid of loneliness..who could not bear the fact that the limelight could not remain hers all the time! She was some one who got attached to things very fast but remained unknown to the fact that all things are going to change all the time...all people are going to change ...and nothing can remain constant..changes keep happening every now then..may be some thing is changing while i am writing....

Right now i am breathing a different sort of air! I know who i am, how i am and that i have the power to make people happy in my own small ways! Just last week some one called me immature and stupid, without even knowing me! But that still dint stop me from self analization. I still went through thoughts like 'am i really that kiddish? am i so stupid? why do i laugh so much?' Though i care a damn about the person who obliged me with such 'sweet and polite' notes, i still strained my brain! But that just made me realize my strengths more and more... special thanks to 'that' person!

Oh Yes!!! I think before i die i will definitely do theatre( i know thats random, but thats my dream...) To enact plays and entertain people! Thats what i do the best.That is something from which i will surely attain nirvana!